If this is Austin...

I hate, detest, abhor, dislike, have opposition to, admire, adore, fancy, have a fondness for this man. He drives me absolutely insane. He gets a name, Austin. He is a major player in my book and 50% of the time he is no good for me. He is my Austin (Blake Shelton, If this is Austin). He acts like it too. He never knows what he wants. I do not even believe he knows who he is. He talks to me when he can. It is all on his time. Those are a few of his flaws...

He never has forgotten about me. He takes me for who I am. He gets me. He makes me happy no matter how much I want to hit him. He erases all the stress. When he looks at me he never stops. He holds my hand. He won't give up. He tries.

Austin and I have been doing our dance since early July and not once since the first day I saw him has he been out of my mind for a whole day. I have done everything to get him out of my mind. Delete his number, block his fb, dated others... nothing has worked. I finally decided to take him as what he is, the man I care about. I am better off with him in my life than I am when he is nothing. I do not want to be talked out of him. He has done a lot for me as a person.

He has helped me grow. He has made me be weak. For most people being weak is not an attribute you would desire for someone to make you. I need someone to make me weak. It is too hard to be strong 100% of the time. It makes you callous to everyone and everything around you. He makes me back down and look for greatness in frustration. I hear him in every song, good or bad. I look for the best in him and hope that one day I get to see it. It is a privilege for me to have him in my life and despite the way he acts I know he is glad I am in his.  How do I know? Because no matter what he still comes around. He generally cares. I push him away and he pushes back.

I don't know what his underlining role in my life is but I can tell you that he is a player in my life and I won't have him any other way. I have to learn to bite the bullet with him. We are now "talking". Before we use to spew facts, opinions, and insults AT each other. We did grow and now we talk TO each other.

I like our dance... though it may not have rhythm and may be random, I like our dance. I may try to dance with others and I may not like it from anyone else. It is an awkward, beatless dance but it is ours.